Thursday, January 20, 2011

"The Talk"

So if you haven't read yesterday's post you may want to so that you have the background for this post.  If you don't (fine, be that way) - suffice it to say our dogs, Wags and Mindy, are now awaiting the arrival of pups in February.  And our kids, who of course are thrilled, saw the whole mating process which as you can imagine raised some questions!

Now, I am not terribly prudish or shy.  Talking about our bodies with my kids (11, 9 and 7 years old) hasn't freaked me out.  We've taught them the anatomically correct names of their body parts - "head and shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, knees and toes, head and shoulders, knees and toes, eyes, ears, penis and vagina".  We've talked about the need for privacy and personal safety around our sexual body parts and we've tried to instill in our kids that our bodies, no matter who we are, are beautiful and to be celebrated.

Then there is that moment that I've been keeping my eyes open for when they need more information.  They need "the talk".  I really truly want to beat their classmates to the punch line.  Brenna and I have had "the talk" when she was in grade four in a multi-age classroom of grades 4,5 & 6 and it became clear that she might hear more in that context then in a regular grade four classroom.  Now that just left Will and Jay to have "the talk" with.  And our dogs getting caught in the act provided just that opportunity!  When Will asked me what was going on with Wags and Mindy I asked, "Do you really want to know?" His response was typical Will, "Sure, I'm in the mood for a story!"

And then it was time to explain the nitty gritty of sex and it was Jay who helped us put it into words.  But not the 7 year old Jay.  The 3 year old Jay. Just a week before the dogs had their little trist(s) we were reminising about some of the funny things our kids have said as wee ones.  And this story is one our favorites...

All three of my children have been willing to go toe to toe with me from the time they realized we both had toes.  This particular day with my 3 year old Jay was no different as he was determined to convince me that Brenna had a penis.   It started out funny and I remember assuring him that "no sweetie, Brenna is a girl. She has a vagina."

"Nooo. She has a penis."  End of story.

"Jay, she has a vagina.  She's different then you and Will.  She's a girl."

"Noooo!  She has a penis!" now he's ticked off and ready to rumble.

"Jay! I am her mother.  I did her diapers. She has a VAGINA."  It's not funny anymore and I'm sucked in and legitimately arguing with a three year as if my sanity depends on it.

"MOOOOM!  She DOES have a PENIS!  It's just an INNIE!"  And I am silenced.  I am put in my place. It makes all the sense in the world.  There are innie belly buttons.  Why not innie penises?  Can you speak?!?

And so when it came time to tell our boys what on earth was going on with Mindy and Wags it was easy.  We had the lingo!

"Wags is trying to get Mindy pregnant" we explain.

"But how?"

"Well... he puts his 'outie' in her 'innie'."

Will is immediately grossed out because he's nine and he makes the intellectual leap to what that means about human puppies he came to be.

Dear Jay just looks at us and says "OOOO-K".  And that's it.  No leaping in that kid's mind.  It's still just what the dogs do.  And that's okay with me.  There's plenty of time to talk about it another time.


Oh, how you must laugh too!  I love you. 

'til next time,



  1. Please tell me Jay also bonked himself on the head with his closed fist as he said "oooook"!

    I'm remembering something terribly funny Jay said once about wishing he had two penises.... one for each hand!!!!!

    Still makes me laugh out loud when I think about it!!

  2. Karla, it was Will who wanted two penises. Oh the conversations we have!

  3. Had to wipe away a few tears from laughing so hard. Dang that's funny!