Monday, October 18, 2010

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

For those of you still checking to see if I've finally posted... ta da!  Pathetic I know, but I'm finally here none the less. 

And here.  In Haines Junction.  Still.  And if you look at the title of the blog it's changed slightly from "the one year northern adventure of the Symanski family" to "the ongoing northern adventure of the Symanski family".  Long story but to make it a short one, we're here because by last spring it became plain that we were supposed to stay and make the Junction "home".

That's the short version.  Maybe sometime I'll want to spend some time giving you a peek in on the long version but not today.  It's a great tale, full of angst (should we? shouldn't we?), horror (leave our people in Winnipeg? NOOOoooo....), pathos (oh, the agony of goodbyes), comedy (we ARE the Symanskis and so comedy is inevitable), adrenaline (wow, we're really doing this!) and honest to goodness heartbreak (words fail me...).

But also peace.  The deep knowing in the pit of our very flawed selves that this was what we were meant for.  That it was and is a God thing.  And that both Ken and I felt that deep sense of "yes" together with the same intensity not only confirmed that we were heading in the right direction but also held us together in the days this past summer when we were packing up our life in Winnipeg and saying goodbye to some of THE GREATEST PEOPLE ON EARTH.  Thanks be to God that He carried us through it all...

And now we're are here.  No longer one year visitors but residents.  And life is good.  And God is good.  But I am still the same person here that I was in Winnipeg which means all my character flaws came with me.  I tried to leave them behind.  I tip toed away from them when they weren't looking.  But they are tenacious little turds and the first time my kids and husband started to annoy me on our drive back to the Yukon from Manitoba they were right there, egging me on and I started to holler.  Of course they didn't have far to go, I think they found me around Portage la Prairie...

And so it goes, living life in this fascinating little village, trying to find out what I'm to put my hand to. What will I contribute to this community?  There are so many things I could do, so many opportunities.  But I have this fairly clean plate/slate before me and I want to be mindful of what I put on it.  Ken and the kids and managing our home already has a big chunk of it, I want to be careful not to crowd them out.  I know what it feels like to live a crowded life.  I don't do well with it.  I holler.  I get cranky.  I withdraw. I eat food I don't need and spend money I don't have.  So whatever I add to my plate/slate I want to do it thoughtfully and resist the urge to impulsively add all the good things I see around me (this committee, that project, this idea, that activity) to my schedule.  I want to be mindful and deliberate rather than rash and over zealous. (there's those sneaky character flaws again... I guess if I can't run away from them I'll have to contend with them.)

I'll try to keep you posted about what's going on as we live life in our new home.  Like I said, life is good and God is good so I'll try to share the goodness with you more frequently...

I am grateful.  I'm so deeply aware of my "messiness" inside and out.  And yet you don't hold it against me and you pour out your goodness all over my family and I.  It's quite delicious and yummy and sustaining.  I love you.

'til next time,



  1. And a great big YAHOOO! could be be heard above the Rocky Mountains as I read a new post! Thank you. I love all the parts of you - even the ones you tried to leave behind!


  2. you know, the thing with the north, it has this invisible vortex that just sucks you right in :) i remembered us telling ourselves, we'll do it just for 1 year..but here we are 4 years into the "northern adventure" and loving it. so much so we just bought a house!

  3. I have SO missed your blog!!! You suck at keeping in touch, heehee, so please write more often for those of us who are not in regular contact. Love you! =)

  4. tenacious little turds...

    ahahhhah BEST LINE EVER!!

    Glad you are still in the north! Hope we run into you all again. :)

  5. Told you so - told you you would move there....:)Mel

  6. I was wondering what happened this summer and to be completely honest...I wondered how you would leave and go back ! I believed from the beginning you would stay.
    So many questions...does Ken have a permanent job? Did you sell your house in Winnipeg? Will you plan to buy there at the Junction? How did your kids feel about it?
    Like KP, missed your blog a lot and look forward to keeping up with you. Would really like to do it in person sometime soon.
    Love you !!